Imagine, the thing that scares you the most is the least scary thing of all.
Since I was 8 years old, I knew that I wanted to be a stay at home mom. People would ask what I wanted to be when I grew up, and I would say, “I want to be a mommy.” I had always helped in the nursery, and worked at kid’s camps. My identity was built around my love for kiddos…and then I had one. He was so precious and perfect, and I was TERRIFIED. It didn’t come naturally to me like I had thought it would. My outgoing people-loving self was replaced with an agoraphobic hermit who was filled with dread at the thought of seeing anyone. I would have panic attacks if there was a loud noise or I heard a tiny cough on the monitor. After losing 20 pounds from not eating or sleeping, I knew that I needed some help. Who knew that help would come from colorful leggings, lots of love, and some medication!
In the beginning, I didn’t want anyone to be around me or the baby. I was constantly crying, and leaving the house was basically impossible. I felt like every thing about me had disappeared, and all that was left was keeping this little baby alive. I used to love talking to people, all day every day, but now I didn’t want anyone around. One day a simple visit to the pediatrician sent me into a panic attack. While we were driving, some ice had settled in my cup, and I thought the car was going to crash. I started sobbing uncontrollably, and couldn’t breathe. My amazing husband helped calm me down before seeing the doctor, but I was on the verge of losing it the whole time we were there. A few weeks postpartum, I called my OBGYN, and told her what was going on. She met with me, and even brought me some snacks and juice (Which I was obsessed with at the time for some reason.) I was obviously not myself, and she told me that I might be suffering from Postpartum Anxiety & Depression. Then came meds!
After starting medication, I was feeling SO much better. I was able to talk to people, I could eat, and I had much fewer episodes of extreme sadness or anxiety. But, I still wasn’t me anymore. Being a momma is a 24/7 job, and that can really affect your psyche. I had joined a mommy group, and when I was asked what I liked to do for fun I literally had NO idea. How silly is that? It was a simple question, but I had no answer. It took me forever, but I finally came up with that I liked to tell stories. (Just like I am doing now!) But that definitely showed me that I really needed something for me that had nothing to do with being a mom. In said mommy group, I had met Shylah she was pregnant at the same time I was, and she was part of a little ol’ company called, LULAROE! Shylah is so full of light and life and you can’t help but be drawn to her. I had purchased a pair of leggings when I was NINE months pregnant and they were my favorite thing to wear postpartum so I asked her what it took to be a part of her team!
Flash forward two months, and I was finally a LuLaRoe consultant! LuLaRoe provided me an outlet to rediscover who I was outside of being a mommy. I had some time to focus on something other than my baby, and just focus on myself. I got to find my fun-loving extroverted side through doing live sales, and talking to all of my awesome customers. Packaging up orders and balancing my books gave me time to clear my mind and become more grounded. I could go on and on about all the ways that colorful, comfortable clothes absolutely changed my life. I am a better wife, and a better mommy because of LuLaRoe. I will forever be grateful to this amazing company for helping me find myself, and pulling me up out of the darkest, scariest time of my life.
If you are struggling with postpartum anxiety or depression, please reach out to a healthcare professional. I can’t explain how much it helped me.
If you have any questions about me or joining my LuLaRoe team, send me an email: lularoemegankreuer@gmail. I would love to talk to you about any questions that you have for me!
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